Forgiveness requires that we delve deeply into our own minds instead of trying to change somebody else's mind. I have been reflecting a great deal on forgiveness this past while because as I have healed and integrated many apects of my psyche I find forgiveness has become much easier and more natural. Whereas in the past I have struggled a great deal to forgive those who I believed had "wronged me".
Consider the following quote by psychologist Chuck Spezzano:
"Everyone we have grievances with, reflects self-concepts within ourselves that we are attacking. They are parts of our own mind - what we think of ourselves in a subconscious or even unconscious part of our mind."
If we were to look into the deepest recesses of our mind we would find where we are actually doing what we are blaming the other person for. This is how the psyche projects and creates havoc in our outer world. We project onto others what we feel guily for in the deepest, most hidden parts of our own mind.
Finding and reconciling with the hidden parts of our psyche is the work of psychological and spiritual growth. There is a level of consciousness that we can reach that is problem free. I often have moments in my day, usually when I am walking in the woods where I suddenly say to myself in a burst of clarity, "I have no problems!" This is not to say that I don't have issues that need to be dealt with but I no longer treasure and create my problems so that I can preoocupy myself away from what I need to offer to life. Consider that we create problems so we can withdraw and so we do not have to make the effort to give the strength of our gifts to life.
When we don't forgive the people that we have grievances with we get to use another person's behavior to distance and separate and not make an effort to give to the situation. We get to remain a victim. As psychologist Chuck Spezzano describes it - being a victim and not forgiving allows us to do what we want to do, or not do something we do not want to do, instead of offering the strength of our gifts that are needed in each situation.
For the past year I have been writing an ambitious and devoted non-denominational tome called A Course in Miracles for Creative Women which is a simple version of the daily lessons for the creative mind.
The following is my simple and creative interpretation of one of the ACIM lessons for creative women.
Lesson 62
"Forgiveness is my function as the light of the world."
Creative Practice
Meditation: as frequently as possible (suggestion: every hour on the hour),
for 1-2 minutes tell yourself (with eyes closed if the situation permits): "Forgiveness is my function as the light of the world. I would fulfill my function that I may be happy."
If your mind wanders, repeat the idea and add: "I would remember this because I want to be happy."
We practice these higher ideas so we can have a happier day. And this is not a selfish practice. When we forgive we bring peace and happiness to everyone around us.
Spiritual Idea
If you were the light of the world, what would you do? You would forgive everyone in your life. Forgiveness simply means not judging people for their "small" behaviors - their fearful, survival, selfish acts and instead sensing into what is great about them.
We forgive others so that we can remember the truth of ourselves. When we remember the truth about ourselves, we remember the truth about everyone. If we see something that we cannot forgive in another we are really seeing what we cannot accept and love within ourselves.
From our egos we do not know how to forgive. Forgiveness is antithetical to maintaining a separate self. Forgiveness is spiritual process that simply says, "I love you and I see what is beautiful about you. Whether you change or not is up to you."
Forgiveness is releasing all judgment. When we forgive, we call upon on our own inner greatness. When we see, focus on and judge weakness in other people, we automatically make our own weakness larger and more acute in our own life.
Forgiveness is really a refined sense of acceptance. As the light of the world - as the embodiment of our own personal greatness - we are not here to teach, fix or even help. We are here to see the particular goodness of each individual and celebrate that and invite it to become stronger through our love of it. The Course says so aptly, "Forgiveness is the demonstration that you are the light of the world. Through your forgiveness does the truth about yourself return to your memory." In forgiving others, you find your own greatness.
