When we look through our human psychological eyes, we see only the faults and weaknesses of others - and they can be quite complex and confusing depending on how split away a person is from their self-love, strength, and wholeness. When we look through our spiritual eyes we can learn how to see what is uniquely strong and beautiful inside of every individual we meet.
People Live Mostly in their Psychology
If you really look at people, you will start to sense their particular kind of heavy emotional conditioning sitting on top of what is their unique soul energy. Each person that you turn your gaze towards will often show themselves as having distinctly different weak and strong energies. The choice always arises - what qualities will you choose to focus on?
For example, if someone is ugly, victimized, or selfish in their ego stature - they may be - in contrast, quite beautiful in their soul gifts. If need be, you can do some detective work to see where people are good and what strengths they have. Every single human being has strengths. If you are determined to see what is good in other people - you will be given insights about their gifts and purposes. It can be a revelation to notice how each person struggles with their particular conditioned human weaknesses and limitations, and to sense into how this often contrasts with a surprising soul power that is distinct to them.
Building Connection with the Good
People are the sum of their light and dark choices, and although a personal darkness of guilt and self-attack may be sitting on top of person's unique spiritual core - it can feel like a miracle to recognize and glimpse their unique spirit shining through - even as their behavior is still quite selfish, difficult or limited.
My experience in dealing with people who are deeply struggling in their own psychology is that I cannot pretend that their offensive behavior is not there - but I can choose not to indulge in their ego directives. This may involve speaking up with love and saying a firm "no", or simply choosing not to react. The love can always remain - and at the same time - there must be a "looking beyond" what is difficult to the deeper goodness.
There is a richness and a delight to seeing people in their layers of psyche and soul. It is a miracle to communicate with the strong parts of people rather than focusing on and judging what is weak and struggling. Each person is a complex interplay of dark and light. It is heartening to watch how you can draw a person's strength forward more fully into life just by speaking to it, focusing on it, and building connection with it. There is a joy of never giving up on seeing the light inside of people.
I feel it is possible to love everyone we meet. I do not feel it is not possible to maintain steady friendships and relationships with everyone we meet. If you choose to meet people in their strengths it might not be possible to sustain a steady and ongoing real life, practical connection. Often we can only love people - mind-to-mind and heart-to-heart - on a soul level.
Since on a deeper level our minds and hearts are all joined we can love people profoundly on a soul level. They will be nourished on a subconscious level by our love and forgiveness. On an actual physical level however - love must meet love for there to be rapport. Loving through people's ego "stuff" requires their allowing and consent.
You can only really love and interact with each person to their level of self-love. To love people to the level that they love themselves is profoundly honoring. If a person that you love is in their strength and self-love - for example 10% of the time - then you can only authentically meet in that 10%. The other 90% of the psyche will be blocking the rest of the connection - but the level that they can take in love will been honored.
Letting Go of Sacrifice
It is possible to love people - and not react to, judge or pander to other's ego needs for control. Finding sustaining energy in my connections with others is something I have pondered deeply. I interact with many people in my full-time working life. I have found it is possible to love and honor people on profound levels without invading their personal psychology with an ego "need" to prove or show off my love.
In my family we check in with each other after our work day is done. We ask each other, "Did you "panda" today"?" The joke and the question is, "How much did you pander to other people's egos today?" When we pander to other people's egos - we are trying to get something from them - whether it be approval, a pay check, or some sort of emotional fulfillment. It is exhausting to pander to people's ego needs. It is energizing to love.
When we do not feel needy, we can just love and enjoy people in their struggles and in their light. We can develop our creative, spiritual vision and start to see people in their multi-dimensionality instead of in black and white. Most of us have many shadows to deal with. We all have layers and layers of psychological inner conflicts that struggle between wanting to give and needing to get our needs met.
Spiritual vision is always available, but we must let go of our own guilt, darkness, and victimization in order to see the light in others. There is always a profound and distinct beauty or goodness that flows underneath all that seems dark and difficult. We are not making anything up in our spiritual vision. We are simply sensing and intuiting more deeply into every human being and each situation that we encounter. We can learn to consistently see the creative and spiritual forces running under everything that happens. We can find and engage with what is good in each person that we meet.