If you really look at people, you will start to sense their particular kind of heavy emotional conditioning sitting on top of their unique soul energy. Each person that you turn your gaze towards will often show themselves as having distinctly different weak and strong energies. And, so the choice always arises - what qualities will you choose to focus on?
For example, if someone is victimized or selfish in their ego stature, they may be, in contrast, quite beautiful in their soul gifts. If need be, you can do some detective work to discover where people are good. Every single human being has beauty. If you are determined to see what is good in other people you will be given insights about their soul qualities, even if they seem completely hidden.
Building Connection with the Soul
People are the sum of their light and dark choices, and although the darkness of guilt and self-attack may be sitting top of their spiritual core - it can feel like a miracle to glimpse their unique spirit shining through - even as their behavior is still quite selfish, difficult or limited.
My experience in dealing with people who are struggling in their own psychology is that I cannot pretend that their offensive behavior is not there - but I can choose not to indulge in their ego demands. This may involve speaking up with love and saying a firm "no", or simply choosing not to react.
There is richness and delight in seeing people in their various facets. Each person is a complex interplay of dark and light. It is heartening to watch how you can draw a person's strength forward just by speaking to it, focusing on it, and building connection with it.
I feel it is possible to love everyone we meet. I do not feel it is not possible to maintain steady relationships with everyone we meet. If you recognize people in their soul stature, it might not be possible for them to sustain a steady and ongoing connection.
To love people to the level that they love themselves is profoundly honoring. If a person that you love is connected to their soul 10% of the time, then you can only authentically meet in that 10%. The other 90% of the psyche will block the authentic connection.
Letting Go of Sacrifice
When we do not feel needy, we can see people in their struggles and in their light. We can develop our spiritual vision and start to see people in their multi-dimensionality instead of in black and white. Most of us have many shadows to deal with. There is always a distinct beauty that flows underneath all that seems dark and difficult.
In our spiritual vision, we are simply intuiting more deeply into every human being that we encounter. We can learn to consistently see the spiritual forces running under everything that happens. We can look for. and engage with what is good in each person that we meet.