If you are feeling blocked creatively, what stands between you and your joyful creativity is your unacknowledged emotional pain. Many of us hold layers of emotional pain that we can have not consciously met yet. There is no shame in this. It is our human condition.
Some of us, sensitive in our souls and empathic towards others, can recall no obvious trauma when we were children to pinpoint why we suffer so much. Yet, mysteriously as adults, we feel unnameable angst, depression, grief, fear and anger as we navigate through daily life.
Unprocessed emotions arise frequently in day to day life to be accepted, loved and embraced but often we ignore the signals. Any time you catch yourself holding your breath, for example, you are repressing an emotion. Every time you feel any sort of tightness in your body, you are clamping down around something that needs to be healed.
Before we become free and joyful creators, we have to allow our creative blocks to take us in the healing direction they want us to go. Our creative blocks always ask for the inclusion of our repressed emotions. To not run away from our painful emotions is a courageous act.
As adults, we cannot expect that others will love us in ways that we do not love ourselves. Turning toward our difficult feelings with love and curiosity creates a free and powerful life. To invite up repressed emotions to be loved frees up new energy and provides the portal into a creative intelligence that we may not have accessed since childhood.
Until we integrate all the emotions that we could not process in childhood, we will walk around like children in adult bodies. Many of us rarely examine the childhood beliefs that we filter our perceptions of the world through.
We stay patterned in the beliefs that were laid down when we were young. As children, we emotionally imprint upon our parent's emotional patterning. Born open, like a sponge, we take on the heaviness of our caregiver's emotional world.
Spiritual teacher Michael Brown explains how our inner child lives inside our adult body:
"Experientially it is in the first seven years, any and all uncomfortable experience arising from our entry into the conditional world are imprinted into and affect the condition of our emotional body. Our emotional body is therefore where the record of these occurrences is kept."
Children literally soak up the "emotional-pain-soup" around them. I remember one instance, many years ago, noticing the exact correlation of my emotionality with my daughter's.
My four-year-old daughter was bathing in our old claw foot tub. I was sitting on the sofa in the living room nearby. The house was silent, and suddenly I felt piercing loneliness in my heart. At the same moment, my daughter cried out, "Mommy! My heart is falling out of my chest with loneliness!"
Trying to pin our uncomfortable feelings on a specific trauma from childhood, or searching for a childhood story of abuse to explain our emotional pain, is often too simplistic. We suffer ancestrally for all of those who have come before us. We inherit the pain for those in our family who did not know how to process their own emotional pain.
Strong Presence to Emotional Pain
Emotional pain can overpower us. Emotional pain can feel so big, we might barely be able to think, function, work, or relate to other people. In such discomfort, it is easy to think that we have to get rid of our pain by blaming others for it when instead we need to learn how to enlarge our loving presence to it.
We do our loving presence work by feeling our emotional pain with awareness, touching it lightly at first, and taking breaks when it feels too unbearable. As we grow more strongly self-loving with our kind inner attention, the pain passes through our being at a faster rate until one day it is gone.